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50 Funniest Things Amarillo Kids Have Said To Their Moms

Photo Credit: Caleena Rodriquez
Photo Credit: Caleena Rodriquez

While I’m not a parent, I see how much it takes to be a mom. You do the best you can to raise your children, but you’re only human. Things slip up and kids catch up on it. It’s truly hard not to laugh at them because you know you have to discipline them for unintentionally saying a curse word.

The mom job seems exhausting. So I put together a collection of things kids have said. Hopefully, this brings a few Moms and Dads together and laugh.

Happy Mother’s Day to all the beautiful moms!

  1. My poop looks like a carrot – Samantha Melton
  2. “You’re not human mom, you’re feet are supposed to smell like corn chips!” -Pamela Boldway
  3. Santa quit. He’s a teacher now mother didn’t you hear? – Rebecca Bass
  4. “These strawberries taste like watermelon.” – Paula Ostrander 
  5. “Let’s jump up and down and say what the F**K” – Elizabeth Sims
  6. Go eat a bowl of butthole flakes! – Clarissa Rangel
  7. My 11-year-old son and I were joking around with each other and I said how about I knock you to Paris he goes can you knock me to Disney land instead. – Renee Ewing
  8. The dog pooped and I’m not trained to pick it up. – Katie Deaver
  9. Mom, my nuts itch..😳 he is only 7. – Jaime Henderson
  10. I didn’t fart I didn’t feel my butt make that noise. – Stephaine Tobar
  11. My daughter’s first sentence, “Daddy, did you fart?” – Kelsie Bennett
  12. My then 6 year old told me he wanted hearing aids for his birthday!!! Lol….. He said he needed to hear better like grandad!! – LeeAnn Keasler
  13. Lmao my 3-year-old said to her aunt .. go wash your ass ducky you stink… – Jessie Shaw
  14. “What the hell mom” she was 3 – Lacey DuBois
  15. Saw a picture of herself as a baby with no hair and asked me “mommy why was I a boy?” – Michelle Wink
  16. My son eating pop rocks and a few days later he said mom I can feel the pop rocks popping out of my butt  – Elizabeth Hollon
  17. when esvan told the doctor he wasn’t sick anymore, and she asked him so you were sick? And esvan told her yes I was on my puberty lol … he is 4yrs old. – Alma Ibarra
  18. That I was “cheating” on her. (She meant lying to her) – Ashley Gonzales
  19. We were potty training our little girl she would hold her poop to the moment we put her in a pull-up at night. Then run under the table and squat down to do her business. I crouched down to look her in the eye and tell her let’s go to the potty. She looked up and said, “Stop judging me, it’s my business where I want to” she was 3 at the time 😂😂😂 – Stacey Rushing
  20. When my daughter was little, My husband leaned down to kiss me good night and my daughter said, “Get your dirty hands off my momma”. We both busted out laughing. – Lois Cruz
  21. My son was 5 at this time but his you-know-what’s were itchy and said there were ants crawling up his pants and that they were biting him 😂 – Nancy Valencia
  22. My son, “We need a new cat” and I was like “why”? he replied ” because this one’s old and she smells”…smh – Calacastina Correa
  23. When my nephew was five he asked me if I was a male I said no baby I’m a female. He then turned around and said oh you’re a maleshe. It took everything in me to keep a straight face and correct him. – Stephnie Dinges
  24. My daughter (7) told me this building they went to was 10 books high. It took me a minute to realize she meant stories lol – Melaine Lopez
  25. my son told the neighborhood kids. “No we dont have any chips to eat, we don’t get food stamps”. – David Espinozafuentes
  26. My daughter was 3 and she was playing with an umbrella and I told her to stop because she would pinch her fingers. And she said “that’s okay daddy can just buy me new fingers” lol – Jessica DeLeon
  27. My niece calls people “humans”! – Michelle Gonzales
  28. He’ll kill me if he finds out I posted this but, After a bout of diarrhea my son says…”Mom, I didn’t water poop today…it was more like Dippin’ Dots”! Lol! – Angie Arguijo
  29. My 1-year-old Says “oh s**t” – Mickey Hernandez
  30. Why do u have a bump right there? Referring to my midsection lol – David Baca
  31. My daughter said when she was 2..”I farted, I farted out of my ass!” Utter shock and hidden laughter. – Tiffany Broxson
  32. My kids were running through the house with a nerf gun and I went to my bedroom for some peace. I hear my daughter yell through the door ” mom, mykel is trying to hit me with his best shot!!” All I could think was….fire away….lol – Miceah Bailey
  33. I drank some of my son’s mountain dew when we were watching movies at the house. I said “ahhhh do the dew”, without missing a beat he said, “how about do the dishes”. I honestly couldn’t decide whether to get on to him or high five him. – Jessica Wilson
  34. My kido was ten, i was explaining the growth of hair during puberty- in absolute horror she ed at me and said “forget that I’m getting a no no cuz there’s gonna be no no hair there”😂😂 / I also used to pick my sister up from daycare she was 3- I was 18- I learned to watch my language around her because of this.one day in the car with our mom and a bus passed us. she yells “mommy das da truck dat be pissin off my shay!” I about pissed my pants lol – Sparrow Talbolt
  35. “If your tummy was my home for 9 months then your boobies were my windows” she’s 18 now and I love reminding her of this!!! Kids do say the funniest things!! – Esmeralda Ojeda
  36. “I farted in my mouth” when my son burps lol – Adreanna Johnson
  37. A car pulled out in front of us. My 2-Year-old goes “oh s**t” 😂😂 – Alissa Ann
  38. Mom, one of my favorite things is a lint roller…😂 – Jill Brewer
  39. My son called a lady fat in the Walmart check out lane when he was around two. I almost died. The lady said, “why yes I am.” – Ashley Seidell
  40. 5-year-old Niece: are you having another baby?    Me: no…   Her: so your just fat…okay. – Katie Lukas
  41. Dropped a coffee mug on the floor, it breaks, mutters “oh shoot,” except didn’t say shoot. 1 year old in the high chair tosses sippy cup on the floor and says “oh shoot,” AND SHE DID NOT SAY SHOOT 😂😭 – Kaylea Bryant
  42. My daughter was 4, and we were having pancakes for breakfast. She got sticky from the syrup and her fingers stuck together. She says ” my fingers are fighting! Fight! Fight! Boys, boys! calm down, calm down.” – Sabrina Hardy
  43. my daughter is 2 and she says your making me so rude [mad] its funny. – Summer Wheeler
  44. My 7-year-old daughter was attempting to get on the laptop… looks at me and says, it won’t work because it is not close enough to the windows… I was confused and said what do you mean? She turned it around and the Microsoft Windows symbol was flashing! 😂 – Katina Nguyen
  45. My 9-year-old came home and said ” mom, my girlfriend said she quits me”. She said she found a stud instead…😂😂 – Lindsey Barton
  46. So, the story…it smelled like Hereford outside really bad. We get out of the car at my grandma’s house….she loudly says “It smells like shit out here!” We stand there a sec all stunned cuz this child is and was miss perfect. She was 4 and the sweetest most well-mannered kind soul I’d ever seen. So we were stunned. But, I cuss like a sailor so I started laughing she got all upset cuz she said a bad word and didn’t mean too. I’ve never heard her cuss again she’s 12 now. But to hear that out of that sweet babies mouth was hilarious to me. – Carrie Segura
  47. My 4yr old daughter who is way different from other kids told her teacher that her dad farts when he’s asleep 😂💆 – Jessica Claudio
  48. My son was 3 and screams from the restroom while visiting my parents “Mom come and wipe my a$$!” – Christy Barba
  49. My child argues with everyone and says he’s black.😂 My husband’s dad is black so my son thinks he’s black. He will argue for hours with people. He loves his papa, Craig.
  50. My niece when I was babysitting 😂 all because I wouldn’t let her have hot sauce! It caught me by surprise! I was recording her because she was calling me mom because my sister is my twin 😂 but got this gem instead. (Just let me have it)

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