Larry Stylinson Conspiracy Theorists Insist Louis Tomlinson’s Baby Is Fake
One Direction is on a well-deserved hiatus, but Larry Stylinson conspiracy theories live on — and grow more ridiculous with each passing day. Fans are currently doing the most to dispel the birth of Louis Tomlinson‘s son, Freddie, as a mere hoax created by One Direction’s team to keep Louis and Harry Styles from ever publicly living their loving truth as a couple.
It’s difficult to explain the elaborate conspiracy theories conjured by those so deeply immersed in their own delusion, but here’s an attempt: According to fans with too much time on their hands and this viral BuzzFeed post, Freddie is either someone else’s baby, a baby doll or an imaginary, Photoshopped baby. Because exposing Harry and Louis’ secret romance would clearly cause the sun to collide with the earth, rendering us all vapor and ash or whatever.
The most convoluted theory? That the sinister Modest Management (1D’s old team, of which Harry is no longer a part as he’s now with CAA) first set the wheels of premeditated pregnancy hoax in motion back on May 12, 2015, when they created the Twitter account @BrianaFacts, which posts updates about Louis’ baby mama Briana Jungwirth, before fans had any idea who Briana was.
Days later, Briana and Louis were photographed together for the first time, hence the account!!! (Never mind that Twitter handles can be changed at any time during your tenure on the site, meaning someone could have easily switched their old name to @BrianaFacts at any point.)
At a One Direction show a month later, someone threw a toy doll on stage. Louis cast it aside, saying, “It’s not real!” which some have taken as a subtle pre-denial from Louis, as though he’s a voiceless captive and only Directioners can free him from his tethers.
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There’s a ton more confirmation bias fleshing out this inane theory: It’s suspicious that the pregnancy announcement took place before the typical “safe” 12 weeks, the varying length of Louis’ hair indicates staged photos, his pictures with Freddie scream Photoshop trickery. Even the punctuation of Louis’ tweets has been brought into question — and that doesn’t even half-cover it.
@Louis_Tomlinson this is so modest louis always tweets a space between them exclamation marks bye
— ㅤㅤ (@sorelwt) January 24, 2016
But, like, why? Why would Modest Management go to such ridiculous lengths to keep Harry and Louis — who don’t even interact with each other on a base level anymore and haven’t in years, be it onstage, in person, or across any social media platforms — apart? The One Direction train has been halted in the station for the foreseeable future, wouldn’t now be the best time to come clean of it all instead of throwing a surprise baby into the mix, which will exist in Louis’ life forever? So much effort involved in this denial of pure love.
Do you subscribe to the notion that Harry and Louis have been embroiled in a years-long romance that is likely tearing them both apart from the inside out, as they may never be free from Modest’s evil bind? What about the fact that they’ve straight-up denied rumors of a secret relationship? That Liam has denied these rumors? That even Zayn has said none of it is true? Are you waiting for a denouncement from Niall, then?
Further, do reptilians run the U.S. government? If we really did land on the Moon, where did all that WIND come from? How likely is it that Eleanor Calder is twiddling her thumbs in glee each day, having escaped the wrath of Larry stans intent on proving her every move a calculated payday? Let us know your every thought on this baffling situation in the comments below.
Photos of One Direction Through the Years