Russell Brand is remaining a mensch following his divorce from Katy Perry.

The 'Brand X' host has yet to say a bad or dirty word about the pop starlet, even when egged on by the perversely curious Howard Stern. (Seriously, Stern -- you're married to Beth Ostrosky. Do you really need to live vicariously through every man on your show?)

Stern pummeled Brand with personal questions, beginning with the somewhat innocuous and veering into borderline offensive as he went.

"What do you make of your ex-wife dating John Mayer?" Stern asked the Brit actor. "Doesn't she know that he's a worse womanizer than you?"

Brand, ever the good sport, replied, "Worse or better, depending on how you view it."

Stern countered, "He's a better womanizer, then."

"Hold on, I resent that!" Brand cried. "I'm world class!" He added sincerely, "You have to let go of the instinct to protect someone once you divorce them."

Of course, Stern couldn't stop, because, well, trolls will be trolls, so he pressed on to find out about Perry's grooming habits.

(Excuse us while we dry heave ... okay, back.)

Thankfully, Brand remained respectful of Perry and of our imaginations."So help me God, Howard Stern, I will not compromise my ex-wife's vagina for the sake of ratings!" Brand fumed. "That woman was perfect from top to bottom!"

You have to admit, that's kind of sweet, isn't it? Compared to the, you know, "sexual napalm" comments Mayer will probably make about her later?

Brand also denied ever dating Demi Moore, as he's apparently been rumored to be doing -- though we've never heard those (last we checked, she was with Harry Morton). He did admit, though, that despite being a world class womanizer, he's ultimately a one-woman man.

"I'm not dating anybody," the fedora enthusiast insisted. "Actually, I'd like a romance. Not so much playing the field, just going through life, meditating, doing yoga, concentrating on this TV show and trying to find a nice wife."

Aww. Based on what we just witnessed, despite that hair, those accessories and that voice, we imagine there's a line.

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