We’re at the last leg of the audition tour, and boy has it been a ride so far. We’ve seen some amazing acts and, well, others we wish we could just forget. But we’re watching ‘America’s Got Talent,’ so we’re pretty much prepared to see anything happen on that stage.

Now it’s the last chance for contestants to try and get a slot in the next round taking place in Las Vegas. Will we see an act that’ll blow the rest of them out of the water? Perhaps, but we know that we’ll at least see some rather peculiar folk strut their stuff tonight. Here’s hoping the acts aren’t too embarrassing to see. It’s never fun to see somebody act like an imbecile out there in front of Howie, Sharon and Howard Stern.

It’s animal time! Welcome Smooch the pig. She’s a really fat pig who apparently can play the piano and do a variety of tricks. It’s just a darn shame that the pig doesn’t want to do much of anything the second she goes on stage. Thankfully after a minute the pig is up on her feet and doing a couple of tricks. It’s a good thing that Howard said no to the pig, because the last thing we’d want to see is the farm animal in Vegas. Somebody might mistaken her for an addition to a buffet.

It’s our favorite time of night, and we’re talking about the newest montage of horrible acts. First is three karate dudes who look like they’re getting in a weak slap fight. Then there’s a young woman who decided that rapping about women using their bodies in order to get money is a form of female empowerment. That’s not really female empowerment, lady. Then we see a couple of horrible dancing groups including the Hartel dance group. They look like they’re showing the audience possible new sexual positions that they can try out at home more than anything else. Thankfully none of these acts move onto the next round.

Next is Lilliana, a six year old tap dancer who’s got quite the personality once she starts her performance. But Howard says that he doesn’t want to see her in the next round. Sharon gives her a yes immediately and Howie decides to give her a yes. Everyone’s happy except for Howard, mainly because he knows more than likely they’ll end up eliminating the poor girl in the next round, or at least he’ll give her another no.

Now we’re onto the good acts montage. The first is The Midnight Circus who honestly are just all right. They seem a lot slower moving around as an ensemble dance group than you’d expect. Then there’s a cool rock group who does a rocking “Rollin in the Deep” as an eighties hair band version. Then the rest of the acts include another dance group, a fine R&B singer and an impressionist. Lastly there are two older woman who do a great job tap dancing. They all advance.

Meet Jacob Williams, a stand up comedian who’s trying his best not to throw up before he hits the stage. But at the same time you kind of hope that he does just because we haven’t seen that this season. He really needs to get rid of his stage fright. It almost hinders his performance at first but thankfully he kicks into the groove a minute in. Yes, he advances to the next round.

It’s been roughly about ten minutes since we’ve last seen a dance troupe arrive on the stage, so bring in 787. They’re not only confident that they can win ‘America’s Got Talent’ but want to do so for Puerto Rico. Is it just us or did Sharon question whether or not they were eligible through asking them where they were from? Their dance is really cute because it’s similar to a cheerleading dance routine between the gymnastics and even the base stunt they do during the first half of the song. And of course they make it to the next round.

Well Howard has a lot of fans including Trish, a woman who thinks that Howard is her secret boyfriend. She’s going to rap but she just talks really, really fast instead. She may not have gotten to the next round but she got a hug from Howard Stern which is all she really wanted the whole time.

Then there’s Mark, a celebrity impersonator. He won’t let the rejections get to him but that’s really hard not to do. Wow, Howie is mixing up Al Pacino with Sean Connery, but either way all of the judges are all confused. So yeah, they’re definitely not letting him move forward.

Lastly there’s Mary Joyner, a singer whose mom and dad are Olympic gold medalist. She’s doing this for her late mother so lets see if she’s got the pipes to prove that she’s worth a million dollars. She’s got a really sweet voice and the song makes everyone to tear up in the audience. Of course she’s going to Vegas. How could she not?

Finally we’re done with the audition process. We may be heading to the later rounds, but we still have a lot of contestants to weed out in order to find the million dollar act. We’ll be able to see who’s got what it takes to be on top in next week’s ‘America’s Got Talent.’

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