Do You Throw Cheese At Babies?
As fads go, I'm usually in. Bell-bottoms, Pet Rocks, and dabbing. I may have even planked, but I draw the line at throwing food, especially at babies. Yes, meet the latest fad of the decade...throwing cheese slices at babies.
I've tried to think about the genesis of this. Was this first done in anger? Was someone drunk? In a million years, I never would have come up with this on my own. If we were throwing cheese slices at spouses, co-workers, or politicians, I'd be all in. I love a good office prank, that wasn't used already on "The Office."
Yes, America, this is who we are now. YouTube is loaded with videos of babies, getting smacked in the face with cheese. Some babies laugh, some look confused, and some try to eat it. Is this child abuse?
"This phenomenon is not child abuse and is generally not meant to harm the child, " says Children's Rights executive director Sandy Santana, "But parents should, first and foremost, treat their children with care. Throwing cheese at helpless babies can, in some cases, shock them and lead to unnecessary discomfort. Is that really worth a few social media likes?”
Not me. I foresee years of therapy bills, teacher/parent conferences, and visits with law enforcement. Before you put me on blast for coddling my kids, be assured I was not sheltered as a child.
Around age 7, I was hit in the face with a baseball, going full speed. I've been shot with a BB gun, a finger poked in the eye, had involvement in a few schoolyard scrapes, and suffered under the hands of an older brother. I am many things, but I'm not a wimp.
Let's remember, we were all babies once. Life was hard enough, trying to eat, sleep, or be changed into something dry without my parents throwing food at me. I don't throw food at my pets or my wife. (She would do something about it.) And no, I don't like the table-side cooks, who throw shrimp at me.
While I'll was busy being a parent, trying to pick a good pre-school so our kids can go to Harvard, I just didn't have the time, to throw cheese at babies. The internet is forever. Your videos of your kids are going to be online, forever. When your kids turn 50, the video of you throwing cheese at them will still be somewhere. Thanks, Dad.
If you feel like throwing some shrimp or steaks of your own, call me! You can throw all the ribeyes and t-bones at me, you like. Milk is getting expensive, so rather than throw it, just leave it on the steps at work, and we'll call it good.
What do YOU think of the "cheese challenge?" Let us know and feel free to leave your unwanted groceries at our station, we will make sure the goods get to those in need!