Drew Weisholtz

Jennifer Aniston is off the market.

Presumptive Republican presidential candidate Mitt Romney has named Rep. Paul Ryan of Wisconsin his running mate.

Eating out is a privilege, made all the sweeter because we don’t have to prepare the meal ourselves, which means we don’t have to go to the grocery store, which, if you’ve ever been, you know can be a heart-palpitating nightmare.

Michael Phelps has managed to swim into history.

Stripping isn’t exactly the ideal vocational choice for most women growing up. Or maybe it is — who are we to say?

Getting a job is no easy task in these times, but keeping it may be even tougher.

Research indicates that working more than the traditional 40 hours a week can actually have a detrimental effect on people, making them unproductive while on the clock. Well, duh! After all that time working, your eyes are bound to start glazing over and mistaking those oh-so-important TPS reports for used coffee filters.

Times are certainly tough and we’re all looking for ways to stretch a buck, but we shouldn’t do so at the expense of stretching our waist size.

While Valentine’s Day is considered the most romantic day of the year, it doesn’t always go according to plan for everyone. Here’s a look at some people Valentine’s Days that could’ve been better.

Pat Sajak raised eyebrows when he revealed he’s raised more than a few glasses over the years. The veteran ‘Wheel of Fortune’ host even admitted he has hosted the classic game show while drunk. How can you tell when Pat Sajak is drunk? So glad you asked.

Dad — the man who brings home the bacon so you could buy the cleats you needed to look good while picking your nose and facing the wrong way during your unmemorable season playing right field in Little League.

You may have heard that ‘The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn – Part 1′ had a ridiculously huge opening weekend at the box office. You may not have heard, though, what people were saying as they left the theater after seeing this cinematic masterpiece.  Well, we’re here to fill you in on what fans were muttering: