Say you’re a woman. You’re dating a guy. It’s getting pretty serious. You work at a Humane Society, doing what you love, saving animals then giving them to caring homes. That’s why you got together with your boyfriend in the first place – you share that common love for those cute critters. In fact, you hook him up with a job at the Humane Society. Then you find out he’s boinking your dog and has a metric ton of kiddie porn. The big question here is: Do you dump him?

That, of course, is a big ol’ JK on our part. As horrible as you think we are for fabricating such a scenario – it’s not fiction, it’s fact. A 29-year-old man in Florida was arrested and charged with possessing child pornography and having sex with his girlfriend’s dog, a pitbull mix (rough riders!). The kicker is he worked at the Humane Society where his girlfriend is the society’s medical director.

A spokesman for the center stated, “He was never on the property working unsupervised” indicating there were other people present. So, you might be the kind of person who breathes a sigh of relief thinking his actions were limited to just the one dog or you’re like us and wondering how many other sick freaks work at that center.

A follow-up police inspection at the home showed the dog in question was well-fed and in good health. That’s a given, right? This guy might be into having sex with every species of all ages, but he still has standards.

Phew. We just went an entire story without making one doggy style joke. You proud of us?

PS – The girlfriend’s in on this. NO WAY can you date this guy, live with him, and not know he’s into this stuff.