King of All Media Howard Stern is gearing up for a judging stint on ‘America’s Got Talent.’ Like any media pro, Stern knows how to get attention for his vehicle — by talking smack about celebs that are famous than he is.

Stern took aim at newly minted ‘X Factor‘ judge, Britney Spears — despite the fact that Spears shares his boss, Simon Cowell. USA Today and The Star-Ledger report that a Friar’s Club press conference, Stern went off on Spears, referencing her merchandising deals and personal troubles. “Britney still thinks the world is flat,” he said. “We’re gonna tune in to see if she can sort of function … She’ll stand there with a lollipop … (saying) ‘Can I get a perfume deal out of this?’” Stern said. “I don’t think you’ll be getting opinions from her. But I’ll tune in to see what kind of a train wreck she is.”

Spears wasn’t the only starlet he took issue with. Stern also fired shots at ‘American Idol‘ judge Jennifer Lopez. Does he have something against stars with fragrances? “I don’t understand what she’s doing there,” Stern said of J. Lo. “If I sit there in a beautiful dress and just tell them they’re wonderful, they’re not going to get anywhere. We’ve got to be honest,” he said. “We’ve got to be direct. We’ve got to help the talent. I’m not doing it to be mean. I’m doing it to be helpful and constructive.”

When asked if he’d still judge ‘America’s Got Talent’ if Spears or Lopez were on the panel, he was adamantly against it. “Absolutely not,” he said. “To sit there with J. Lo and Britney would be like a ventriloquist with two dummies; I’d have to prop them up.”

Ouch! Tell us how you really feel, Howard.