Why Ordering a Steak Well Done Is a Sin & Should Be Punished

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Let me head one thing off at the pass immediately- I don't care how anyone likes their steak. If they want to chew on old boot leather, that is their business, but they should cook it themselves in the privacy of their own home. Not because its shameful, but because when anyone orders a well done steak in a restaurant, they are doing something that is unbelievably rude.

Many people don't know why it's rude to order a well done steak, and that's to be expected, not everyone has worked in a restaurant, let alone a steakhouse. That's why I feel compelled to explain why its such a ill-mannered thing to do. There's actually a few reasons, so let's break it down:

It causes chaos in the kitchen.

The cut of meat this person has chosen to render rubbery has to sit on the grill or under a broiler for ages, taking up space from other items. A 1" steak will take 15 minutes per side to reach an internal temperature of 160 degrees, which is considered well done. If the steak is thicker than 1", it will obviously take even longer. Expecting a cook to keep an eye on a single steak for 30 minutes or more seems a little unreasonable to me.

The rest of the party is waiting too.

While the rest of the party ordered normally, a special request like a well done steak will hold up everyone else's food. So it's not just that person waiting 30 minutes or more, it's everyone with them.

They are costing their server money.

Parking at a table forever is incredibly rude, especially if the restaurant is busy. Like it or not, a server relies on tips to live. If a party takes forever to leave, the server isn't able to turn as many tables. If a party stays a long time, they need to pay "rent". That is, tip really well. And as a reminder- servers "tip out" based on sales, not tips, so if anyone tips like a jerk, they could literally be charging their server for the "privilege" of waiting on them.

Its risking the restaurants reputation. And these types are more likely to complain.

Would you ask a tattoo artist to give you a terrible tattoo? Would you ask your stylist to give you a bad haircut? If you did, they'd have the right to decline your patronage. Because they have a reputation to maintain that is bigger and more important than any single customer. Why would anyone expect any different from a chef or a restaurant owner?

Also, this is anecdotal, but I have worked in restaurants so I have the right to say it- these types complain more and tip less than normal folks. "My steak has no flavor." Well, they asked for all the flavor to be cooked out, that's how it works. "My food took a long time." Again, it's the customer's fault.

I will never understand this notion that walking into a restaurant hereby entitles the customer to get whatever they want, even if its unreasonable, even if its ridiculous, and even if its rude. The customer is not always right. The customer should realize they are hiring a professional to render a great service- and a well done steak is setting that professional up for disaster.