The Things You Go Through When You Lose a Dog

I have had a dog or dogs in my house since my daughter was about three years old. That means for about twenty-two years I have had accidents, slobber, toys, food bowls, water bowls all over my house.

This is the first week that I have felt the emptiness of having a dog-less home. I had to put Cinnamon to sleep, thanks cancer, right before the pandemic hit. That was hard. I then came home every day to Chipper who wondered where her sister went.

A couple weeks ago I could tell Chipper was nearing the end. She was already on blood pressure medicine and other meds for her heart. I could hear her breathing a little heavier. She wasn't as active as before. When she slowed her eating down I knew this was it. Chipper was always the chubby one. She never met a meal she didn't like.

I tried to make an appointment at her vet at the end of last week. They didn't have any appointments until Monday. They told me if I thought it was an emergency to bring her in. I didn't think it was and made that Monday appointment. On Friday she just stopped eating and drinking. I started to force feed her some chicken broth to get some liquid in her. She ended up passing away peacefully Friday evening.

I have never had a dog pass away at home. I didn't know what to do. I didn't want to bring her to Animal Control to wait in that dreaded room until Monday morning. So I went outside and started digging a place for her final resting place at home. I had some great family come over to help me.

I thought that was hard but couldn't imagine everything else. I mean my house had all sorts of dog beds, dog kennels, crates, toys, bones, dog bowls. You name it. We had it. I even have automatic dog feeders for when I went out of town. I thought about donating everything. I still may. My daughter said to wait. She said I may decide to want another dog. Or she may need the stuff when she gets a dog for her family. So for now I washed everything and put it up in a plastic tub for later use.

I walk in the back door from work and still expect to see her waiting for me to come home. When I get out of bed in the morning my first instinct is to let her outside. When I am cooking I am now learning to have to actually pick up the food I drop on the floor. I used to just count on Chipper to help me out.

There are so many changes in my house now that I am dog-less. It is a lot quieter. I don't have her to chime in when I am on a Zoom call. Everyone would just know to say hi to Chipper.

Twenty-two years since I have been without having a dog. It's not necessarily something I think I can get used to but with the grandbaby on the way it's not fair to get a new responsibility when travelling to see her will be important. For now my cat, Twilight, will have to get used to being the one and only ruling the place.