Amarillo Makes The Onion News With “So What’s There To Do In Amarillo” And I Feel Honored

This is actually pretty cool!  The Onion News, typically known for it's wildly strange news stories that are mostly made up in the mind of some crazy guy, did a bit on Amarillo titled So Whats There To Do In Amarillo.  In the bit they do a breakdown by percentage rate of what there is to do in our city.  Here's the run down:

Eat in a hotel room alone 16%

You into inhalants? 11%

Visit Canyon, TX, 8 miles Away 21%

My ex-wife, apparently 14%

Anything you want, so long as you abide by drought-related water-restriction guidelines 20%

Pick up some Amarillo College girls, maybe attend some Amarillo College classes 18%

I gotta say that's pretty funny!  I mean all a stupid joke of course.  But they did leave some things off the list like:

Drink and fight Friday nights downtown 15%

Be a pregnant teenager 12%

Roll your pick up truck 30%

Smoke "green" at Palo Duro Canyon 28%

Shop at Wal-Mart after 12m 40%

Have a cousin in prison 23%

Have a brother in prison 12%

Say "I'm fixing too" 75%

Act like we live in a bigger city then we actually do 50%

Drive up and down 45th St for an hour 35%

Still call American Classifieds the Thrifty Nickel 50%

Wonder "what's face book" 20%

You know what, I'm going on, it's your turn!  The Onion wants to make fun of us?  Let's see what WE can come up with!  Start your list, whats your Things To Do In Amarillo!?