Black Friday is drawing near, which means you should really go shopping before the mayhem begins to load up on armor, cleats and fierce determination that will serve you well while you're scouring the shelves for the perfect toy at rock-bottom prices like a hunter searching for fresh food in a post-apocalyptic world where chaos reigns supreme.

Black Friday has become so insane that it would actually be more appropriate to call it Black Thursday, what with the proliferation of stores opening on Thanksgiving Day and a stampede of shoppers seemingly okay with knocking everyone else over.

The madness is horrifying -- so horrifying, in fact, that it's like a real-life horror movie. With that in mind, check out the above fake trailer for a fake movie called 'Black Friday.' It's definitely funny, but only because it's true.

We vote for staying home and suffering through even more time with the family. Yes, you may want to stab your eyeballs, but, hey, isn't that better than letting some competing shopper do it?

More From KISS FM 96.9