How To Turn A Mom Into A Momzilla

I'm pretty new at this whole dad thing.  I'm not even close to being done learning, but there's a few important things I have learned.  I've learned that it's pretty easy to upset your baby mama.  I've learned some things should be left unsaid, even if they seem to make sense at the time.  A few words can be the difference of sleeping in your bed or on the couch.

Some fresh advice would first be for those nights when you awake to a crying baby, let yourself wake up a little before opening your stupid mouth.  The things you say will greatly differ between a half-asleep brain and a half-awake brain.

Things you NEVER want to say to the mother of your baby:

Just give him a bottle...

I'm tired, I work all day...

What are you doing to that child?

Just tell me what you want me to do...

Well my mom said....

Keep those phrases out of your mouth!  In fact, the less you say, the better.  Anytime your baby mama is having issues, there's 1 phrase that will help you through it.

How can I be of service to you, is there anything I can do to help?  

Even go as far as giving them a hand and foot massage, helps a lot with stress!

Every single night of your life, wrap up with this...

I can't thank you enough for all that you've put yourself through for our child.  I know you've sacrificed your time, body and sleep for our family.  You are so special to me, you've given me the greatest gift in the world, and I will always love you and be there for you through thick and thicker.

As men, we have a choice, and our actions speak louder than words, but our words cut deeper than a knife.  Choose your words wisely, let your actions show your capabilities, and try to make life easy on the woman that gave birth to your child.  Even though you're a parent, you have to remember, you're still a husband.