Oh I can smell the one liners cooking!  But for now, let's be serious about this because it will make you wanna punch somebody square in the face, which is the frame of mind you need to be in for a Friday afternoon.  Jack Raynor is 73 years old, he hails from Britain, he suffers from multiple sclerosis, and he is recently a victim in a spread of metal thieves that is sweeping through Britain.  His wheelchair got jacked and scrapped for about 2 euros ($2.69 US dollars) and now he's liable for a fine of about 100 euros ($133.93 US) fine!

Your blood now begins to boil and you want to start hunting people down while wearing a mask and cape, but lets not get drastic just yet, save the dramatics for the end.

Jack had left his wheelchair in his car port where we all leave many things out of sight. When his wife, Marylyn, went to get it for him so they could go to the hospital for an operation, all she found was a lonely car, no wheel chair.

It's a crime that's reaching epidemic proportions in Britain.  Not stealing wheelchairs, but metal thieves all over the place stealing anything that can be scrapped.

The stolen wheel chair was on loan from NHS and the couple didn't have it insured, so now not only is poor Jack wheelchair-less, he's facing a fine up to 100 euros!

Lucky for them, The Sun, known for telling us the truth all the time (pause) NOT, claims to have stepped into the story and bought Jack a new chair!  I mean they lied about the poop tattoo, surely they aren't big enough of animals to have made this story up too right? (the Sun)

But last night The Sun stepped in to buy a new wheelchair for retired architect Jack.

The stolen one was on loan from the NHS — and the couple were liable for a £100 fine because they had not insured it. We paid that for them too.

Marylyn, 56, who cares for Jack round the clock, said: "We are so grateful to The Sun. It's good to know someone cares.

"We'll be keeping the new one under lock and key.

"Jack can only stand for a short while and take a few steps so the chair is vital.

"We couldn't believe people would be so callous as to steal a wheelchair. They'd know they were stealing from a sick or disabled person.

"When the police told us it would have been taken to sell for scrap for as little as £2 we were just stunned."

Well I'm just stunned as well!  And since the problem has been resolved by the good people at the Sun and we can all have a laugh about it, I present stolen wheel chair one liners!

Jack got jacked!

What his wife is to lazy to carry him?

Steal a SmartCar?  I'd rather steal this wheelchair...

There was perfectly good money to be stolen inside the house.

Just put me in a wheelchair and get me to the show...oh wait the Ramones dude is dead.

Wheel chair?  More like steal chair...

Keep rollin' rollin' rollin'

I roll up, whenever you call shawty I roll up

"Errbody getcha roll on" was being chanted by the thieves.

Oh what like you can do better?  You have all day to think up one liners I get like 1 minute.