Sorry, Dina and Michael Lohan -- you've been one-upped.

Teen child bride Courtney Stodden and her pedophile husband Doug Hutchison were allowed back to the VH1's 'Couples Therapy' house on Wednesday, where therapist Dr. Jenn Berman took the opportunity to talk to Courtney's mother Krista.

And in case you're wondering where the little tart's crazy came from, it was clearly home-grown.

If you didn't think a woman who allowed her 16-year-old daughter with a proclivity for tiny clothes to marry a 51-year-old man doesn't need her own therapy, we have some quotes to change your mind.

Dr. Berman opened the session by discussing Courtney's preference for -- how do we put this delicately -- dressing like a whore.

As Krista explained, "I felt that she was a child ... A teen that needed to express herself somehow ... And to me this was manageable. That's just what her thing was ... This is how God created her, he put these desires in her."

That pesky God, making teenagers want to wear shoes taller than their skirts are long. Man, what a cad.

When asked why Krista would allow her daughter to marry a much older man, she responded, "Courtney's different, she's different than other girls her age and I knew she was gonna need somebody that could, uh, handle her ... I recognized that this is the man that was perfect for her."

Basically, Courtney needed a man to keep her more wild urges in check. Kind of like a parent willing to, you know, actually parent.

"Sure we could have said you're gonna wait 'till you're 18 to marry him or to be with him, but I'm a free spirit, I think out of the box," Krista opined. "I feel like just because a man is a certain age doesn't make him horrible. It's not the first time it ever happened and I know that from history."

But wait, there's more.

Between some classic WTF expressions, Dr. Berman, no doubt noticing Krista's hair-flips every time she mentioned Doug, wondered out loud if Krista allowed her daughter to marry him because she herself admired his characteristics.

"Anyone would love the qualities that that man has. He is a fabulous man. Fabulous," Krista creepily answered, adding that she wanted her daughter to have a partner with the same qualities she herself would want from a man.

Because some girls choose men like their fathers, but it takes a really special mom to choose a man she'd want for herself?

If you'll excuse us, we have to go take like a thousand showers.

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