When Courtney Stodden is not imparting her wisdom to America's youth or pretending to be her own relatives, she apparently cooks.

But Paula Deen, she ain't.

The teen bride posted a new video to her Youtube channel in which, accompanied by laugh tracks and canned applause, she inexplicably teaches everyone how to make "veggie vixen lasagna."

In the video, titled "Courtney's Kitchen," Stodden walks viewers step by step through the process and offers rare insights into her soul -- like she's a "huge onion fan" -- all while clad in a black bikini.

OMG! We totally have the same cooking outfit! (Grease spatters are super dangerous, though.)

Because it's unlikely anyone else would be in the house, we have to assume that hubby/parental nightmare Doug Hutchison filmed this thing. Just be glad we never got to see what he was wearing.

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