From poop tattoos to child pornography, you can find it all on the web!  The Smoking Gun reports that 3rd grade teacher, Kimberly Crain of Shawnee, OK was investigated after students in her class attended a tree trimming party at her house.  The Christmas themed party had 3rd grade girls eating pizza and trimming the Christmas tree in bra and panties she provided the girls!  While the teacher kicked back TAKING PICTURES! Kimberly Crain, 48, submitted her resignation as a teacher at McLoud Elementary and the announcement was made official by school administrators.

The investigation started after one of the children that went to the tree trimming party told her parents about it.  Saying “they dressed up in bras and panties and decorated the tree and ate pizza.”

The news struck the parents, who then began pressing the child for more answers and got this: “she took photos of her and her friends decorating the tree,” and that some of the girls “made up a cheer dance and did it in the bra and panties while Crain videotaped them.”

(Smoking Gun)

According to a search warrant affidavit, Crain told the girls that, “she had something for them to change into” at her home. The bras and panties--imprinted with phrases like “Ho! Ho!”--were on a bed, and “Crain had all of the girls into the bedroom, one by one, and change into the bras and panties.”

Two girls did not want to change into the bras, so they just wore a t-shirt with the panties, according to the affidavit. But “Crain told them that they needed to go put the bras on,” police reported.

After the investigation began, another student came forward with more disturbing news about the behavior of this 3rd grade teacher:

“Crain has all the kids in her class Skype over the computer with an older man wearing glasses named ‘Uncle G.’” The man is not further identified in the affidavit. Additionally, the child told police that, several times a week, Crain “takes photos of particular girls in the class, posing on the desk and chairs, using her personal cell phone.”

So with all that information I think I'm starting to figure this whole thing out.  Crain is like a child porn middle man.  "Uncle G" is most likely some dirty old man she does "favors" for, one of the favors being taking pics of very young girls in underwear and who knows maybe even more extreme.  This is just the information we have as of now, the police may find some seriously sick stuff as the investigation continues.

Where the hell is a magic carpet and shotgun when I need it?  Somebody get Dexter on the phone and let him know we got somebody else he needs to merk when he's done with the whole Doomsday Killer thing.