Phil Villarreal

‘The Expendables 2‘ has yet to open — it stumbles into theaters Aug. 17 — but it’s not too early to start dreaming of cast additions for the inevitable third leg of the trilogy. Heck, it’s not too early to start wishing for people to appear in the sequel.

Potheads are known for being forgetful, but someone took the stereotype to the extreme, leaving 7,000 pounds of marijuana valued at $3.6 million just floating off the coast of Orange County, California.

“It’s a good size, really,” iPhone owners have told Apple. “It’s OK that it’s small. It’s more about how you use it,” they added reassuringly. But the insecure company isn’t having any of it. It’s paying attention to those screen enhancement spam emails and listening to those late-night “marital aid” radio commercials. And it’s obsessed with getting bigger.

For some diehards, paying “only” $60 for a game as sacred to them as Halo 4 just doesn’t feel right.

It’s so tough to find a job out there that no gimmick is too desperate or pathetic. Just look at a guy from Minneapolis who was so hard up for a job that he blew his meager funds for some face time on an electronic billboard, begging someone — anyone — to hire him.

You can’t really blame her for being addicted to your awesomeness. It’s understandable that she is unable to stop calling and texting and begging you to take her back. Neither firm requests to stop harassing you, nor blocking her number, does the trick. It’s time to go nuclear and change your phone number.

Tablets are great and all, but one major, near-unforgivable way they’ve always fallen short is their inability to dispense beer. Finally, KegDroid — which lets you gush out brews via a Motorola Xoom — is here to fix that dreadful problem.

GameStop is starting to approach Bill Belichick levels of strange-sounding but ultimately savvy trades.

If you’re rich and your girlfriend happens to be a stripper, it stands to reason that you impressed her by throwing your money around. Moderation is important in all aspects of life, though, especially when it comes to letting stripper girlfriends get behind expensive cars they can’t handle.

There has been a metric poop ton of 3DS games and apps worth downloading, but the more you snatched up, the harder it became to access your stuff. The system’s aggravating interface lined up your games into a never-ending row of boxes, making it take forever to get to whatever you’re looking for. But, if you download the latest system update, you can finally reshape the menu.

Now that Carmen Electra is 40, she seems a little more attainable. Like, maybe, she’s got less going on than when she was in her prime and would be willing to play dirty games with us online.

To most people, the concept behind the Assassin’s Creed games seems unique. But the setup, in which corporations jack into ancestral memories to relive the past, sounded a bit too familiar to sci-fi author John L. Beiswenger, who says the franchise ripped off his 2003 novel, ‘Link.’